my dog skip
my dog skip has been in the news show today so i considered you may wish to read about it here.
It dawned on me recently that my dog has trained me, and I have no idea how she accomplished this. It's not just me. As I looked around at dog park, I realized that all those people have been trained too.
My dog sure didn't use the techniques I use on her which are mostly based on bribery. She's never given me a treat when I answer her demand to go out. She's never told me I'm a good girl for fetching the ball from under the couch for the umpteenth time.
Do dogs sneak away to buy books entitled “Training Humans for Dummies”? Do they watch “The People Whisperer” while we're out of the house? Do they exchange training techniques under the guise of sniffing each others' butts? Do they log on to chat rooms for training tips at mastermutt.com? Probably not.
So how do our dogs train us to be their loyal servants?
I have a theory based on sheer conjecture and no science of any kind that dogs excrete an odorless pheromone that affects the human brain. This would explain why all my dog has to do is glance longingly at the cupboard where the biscuits and chewies are stored, give a token wag of the tail, and viola! She gets a treat. One woof is all it takes for me to drop everything and let her in. I am sure that once the doggie genome project is done, they will discover that 98% of a dog's genes are specifically dedicated to manipulating humans.
This would explain why after your puppy chews your best shoes you snuggle him and say “Bad dog, coochie coochie coo. Now I have to wear my Nikes to the formal tonight, coochie coochie coo.” If he licks your nose you'll skip the formal even if you're the guest of honor and your date is (insert name of hunky heart throb here). You just can't stay mad at something that cute.
It would also explain why pet products is a multi-billion dollar industry. Admit it, you spend lots of money on doggie toys when you know deep down that your dog would be just as thrilled with a stick.
To show how powerful these pheromone producing genes are, consider this: your dog's entire job description is (1) be cute, (2) be furry, and (3) don't mess in the house. Successfully completing these tasks, your dog gets free room and board, medical care, toys, treats, walks, play time, and lots and lots of attention for its entire lifetime.
Are humans really the smarter species?
FYI, There really is a doggie genome project http://research.nhgri.nih.gov/dog_genome/
